to read

I got locked out of my car, a spider bite, a paper cut & burned my hand.

None of this hurts as bad as the grade on my Spanish paper.

And at least the cat didn't play with my toes while I slept last night.

However,
Thank God this semester is over in 3 days.
-or-
Ojala que este semestre sea muerta!

That may or may not be the exact way to say it, but I think it gets the point across.

I went to the department of foreign language to find out which instructors are instructing which class and I was told that "they weren't allowed to release that information, I had to wait until a day before classes (so 5 days) to find out online which instructors are instructing which class."

I also figured out why they do that,
Because most of their instructors cause pain in the deepest depths of the soul.

Like my Spanish paper,

We were instructed to write about being sick/going to the doctor/something I wouldn't say more than the word requirement in English on.

And, well,

In Spanish speaking countries,
apparently one is going to go to the hospital and then talk about symptoms they had in the past.
Also,

No body ate my store bought fried bananas for my spanish speaking country I was assigned.
Btw, my spanish teacher graciously gave me Equatorial Guinea.
Look it up, it isn't even a real spanish speaking country.

I can't tell if my feelings are hurt or not.
But they went up against some delicious Argentine pizza.

In 3 days, I will be either crying to myself in agony.
Or crying to myself in joy.
Probably a mixture of the two.

More likely than not, after I get my grade, I am going to shank her with a verbal knife of furry.

Until then, I will probably have 'vindicated' stuck in my head so you might want to tilt your head down and just walk away.

how embarrassing

I recently found out my position at Alkek may be transferred to another department, and so I will be getting a new boss. I found out this new boss's identity and have started a job hunt.

For a good while now, I have been slowly working on an "advanced" portfolio, whatever that means, and decided I needed to update my resume.

Not only for the reasons that Michaels Arts & Crafts still bore its bitter sweet name upon the resume but because I felt my interests needed to be updated.

The sad part is, I can't think of anything I am actually interested in that is interesting. If being into cream soda, lolcats and naps will get me a job, I would more than willingly put it on there.

But those things carry the smell of dirty hair and the perpetual eye bags.

And nobody wants to hire that girl.
At times, I wonder what people in my spanish class think of me because I always come in with an HEB brand cream soda. Do they think I am on my way to trailer park living, I will never fully understand the connotations of grocery-store soda.

But maybe, just maybe, I can at least pretend to be spunky on my resume & they will over look the fact that I wash my hair every other day when I should in fact wash it every day. So I can escape my fate of trailer parks and off-brand sodas.

I need to get off work so I can go drink and regain some of the shame I lost when I became such a dull-on-paper person.

I hope your resume makes you more interesting than mine does.
If not, you can come drink with me to enjoy a full-filling personal life.

When is graduation?

Until then, I am going to go back to looking at pictures of cats on the internet.

I like shorts,

too bad I don't own any I can wear to work.

Once again, I find myself thinking "gurl you can do better than that."
but, I am just going to return to looking at pictures of lolcats.
I don't have the social skills to explain.

I stumbled upon this link about how birth order affects relationships. My favorite part is the part about the Clintons. Also, the fact that the Gores are getting divorced only makes me like the Clintons that much more. I am waiting to dream in Spanish, but I am also waiting for dreams involving the Clintons in Spanish. Not in that way.

Well, a little bit.
Kind of.

look at this cat:

I also heard a kid on a field trip to Texas State yell out:

"THEY DON'T HAVE DR. PEPPER ANYWHERE!!"

Welcome to Texas State kid, welcome to Texas State.

those days,

You know THOSE days, when nothing major goes wrong but lots of little things remind you of
how impatient I can be?

Basically, it was fat kid day at the library. A summer program came to visit & they were all huge kids. I didn't understand how they were so big, I sweat off three or four pounds just walking to class.

I am sweating right now. I might short circuit my computer because of the heat.

Anyway, I have discovered how I am going to make sure people in my future are people I can be friends with.

I know, I know. I already have a best friend application, why do I need a marker for the people I consider hanging out with. Well thanks to Amber, I figured it out.

From now on, when I meet a person, I am going to ask them:

If you were to hike across Africa, would you do it
a) for Jesus/Christ/those things
b) because it is bad ass and Bear Grylls-y

I am sure most of you know the answer I am looking for, but just to play it safe with future encounters.

Also, I need a huge assorted box of sharpies for some revenge plans I have coming up, if you have a box I can borrow, I have a wooden toy gun you can hold as ransom until I return them.


God, I wish I would stop sweating.

goodbyes.

So like most of you, finals and other things have gotten in the way.

Let me update you on why you have one less friend on facebook.

I had to make the decision of letting Raleigh go. It was painful. I cried, then I cried some more. Then I made Amber go with me to meet the family I was giving him to, and after meeting them, I knew he was going to be in a great home. Without Callie, Kyle and Lisa (and Mark) to help me take Raleigh out when I am not home, he did not get the attention or the exercise a pre-teen dog needs.

He now gets to sleep in the bed of an 11-year-old girl, and have a yard & a dog door.

I am still pretty emotional about it. There is a westie on the side of the treats we now only give to Taco, secreting that oh so painful feeling when you find out in middle school that a boy doesn't like you.

I will forever remember Raleigh sleeping in the chaise,
Constantly trying to trip me/everybody,
Licking the crumbs off the kitchen floor,
And more importantly,
Eating his poop off the balcony.

He was a sweet doogal.

For Raleigh, this is my shout out:



I miss that poofball.

TWENTYFIRSTBIRTHDAYAWESOMENESS

Because I couldn't get the taxidermied? taxidermed? taxidermy-ed lion to put up and nobody would give me $10,000, Mark and I found this bad boy at Goodwill. While we were looking at the picture this old Jewish man came up to us and was asking us why we would ever want to put it up in our house?

Well, My response was "its just so fabulous and silly."

He replied with "it makes it even sillier when those men have been in control of your land for thousands of years."

Oh, you crazy old jews.


But, we were probably going to put up this picture below it, (or something like this picture)

 a falcon punch

and then always have punch below it.

But this, is all Mark's ideas. However, I will be making the Falcon Punch and with my recent birthday gifts, it will probably take three days before we run out of ingredients for falcon punch.

Oh, and I got this awesome disco silver fur blanket!! I can't wait to move into this house. Falcon punch and disco blankets. And a huge handle of vodka. 10 days and counting...

UPDATE: I just got on target's clearance section and the fur blanket dropped from $13 to $9. So, I am now fighting Target customer service for $4.  I better win because the first lady told me it is "Sunday's" price. I bought the item at 11:38pm, so 22 mins costs $4.

Also, they have the worst waiting music in the world. I am making Mark suffer through it with me because I couldn't do it alone.

UPDATE #2: Target will be refunding me $3.92. Now I can buy almost 4 things from the dollar menu!

So, I recently got a hair cut. It was the worst experience I have ever had involving hair which includes but is not limited to getting dreadlocks from 7-year-olds.

I am very "liberal" when it comes to hair. Mostly, I know it grows back and is not that big of a deal to me. However, I told this woman I wanted a bob. For a haircut that has been around since 1920, HOW COULD SOMEBODY SCREW UP A BOB?!

Anyway, I told her I wanted my hair razored so the layers blended better together.

So, she proceeds to ask me if I want the left side of my head around the ear area SHAVED. At no point did I ask to have parts of my hair cut to include bald spots.

But, needless to say, I complained and I got my hair fixed. Plus, I didn't have to pay. Win-win-win-plus the knowledge to never go to Visible Changes for a hair cut EVER again.

Speaking of bad hair cuts, Raleigh had to get his hair trimmed since he is currently living on Mark's family's ranch so Taco doesn't get picked up by owls, falcons or eagles. 

He looks like a chupacabra. Mark's mom sent this picture and in the tag line it said "don't show Brittany, she's not going to like it."

Also, Raleigh has officially gone through a name change. Before he left, he was peeing on the floor, on the pillows, on Callie and we have discovered he was peeing in a jealous rage. So, his new name is Paco. So Mark and I can yell both dog's names and they both feel equal attention.

The stuffed-lion people messaged me back, they said if I would only go up to $8999, they would sell it. I told them I could put a down payment of $100 on, and they could trust me that I am good for it. I tried to persuade them of my good Russian nature. Nope.

I am going to dedicate this time to a life update for those of you who don't live in my apartment with me,
I have discovered the perfect job for me and it is:

To work for HGTV and do all the craigslist shopping for their shows.

It isn't as easy as you think it is.

SUMMER NEWS: mark will be getting him and I Schillterbahn season passes, so YOU should get one to.